Saturday, September 17, 2005

I am the eggman, we are the eggmen, I am the walrus

One of the stupidest things I've ever done (a continuing theme)
Date: 9/1/05
location: Dlouha Hostel, Prague, Czech Republic

After a very drunken Saturday Night, now Sunday morning, of visiting bars and strip clubs I returned back to the hostel with Ian and Tom B, whilst Jonny, Matt, and Danny went to investigate the lower echelons of Czech society. It was our last night at the hostel, I was drunk, I had bought some eggs and bread during the day, and I had the munchies.

The hostel was quite basic although there were shared facilities such as showers and a 'kitchen'. I've put apostrophes around 'kitchen' because the only cooking facility in there was a microwave, although strangely there were several pots and pans (obviously left by previous backpackers). What do you think I was going to use to do the eggs?

My first attempt was akin to poached eggs. I'd beaten the eggs added whatever spices were in the kitchen, and cooked it in a bowl for about a minute. It was okay but not quite what I was looking for. Then it hit me....a hard boiled egg (not literally coz that would've hurt!)

Through a bit of egging on (pun intended) and my lowered inhibitions caused by the alcohol, I decided to nuke an egg in the microwave. I put it in and turned the timer to 1 minute. Shock..after 30 seconds nothing was happening and I put my head right up against the door of the microwave to check for any changes. There was a hissing noise but that was it, and so Ian left the kitchen, and left me and Tom still watching.

BOOM! In what was one of the pant-filling experiences of my life the egg had exploded and I thought I'd been very bad. The microwave door had actually expanded outwards and I'd got hit on the head by it (maybe it wasn't too wise to be that close), and now with the door open smoke was billowing out and the whole inside was covered with egg and shell. I felt very naughty and quite scared, as were Tom, who had been sitting down, and Ian who had only just re-entered the kitchen to be greeted by the explosion.

Surprisingly no-one came out of the other rooms and I was left to have a nervous laugh, check the microwave still worked (it did!), and clean up all the fucking egg. We decided to retire to our dorm before anything else happened and that was that. We got up the next day went to the kitchen whilst everyone else was eating food bought from elsewhere, and had a bit of a secret laugh. The microwave was still a bit dirty but I'd gotten away with it.

We left Prague that day but I will always have that memory to put in my file of 'Things that could've killed me but didn't'. I've got plenty more of these types of experiences (I can be a stupid twat when drunk) and I'll share some more with you when I can.


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I'm going to be very busy with work over the next 2 weeks as the Freshers are arriving on Sunday and muggins here will be working days and nights, so don't expect too much blogging from me, but I'll try.
Laters

1 comment:

Phil said...

Dude! What an awesome post. Had me giggling to myself. I think we've all done some stupid things. I don't think any of mine have involved putting my head near an operational microwave, but hey!

Good luck with the Freshers stuff.